Speaking to older relatives and friends has made me realize the tremendous strides our community has made in the past few years in responding to abuse, particularly CSA, in our community. However, we are still light years away from where we need to be in order to ensure the safety of ALL of our children.
Based on my own experiences working with victims of abuse and discussions I have had with various professionals and community members over the years, I believe that there are essentially four things we can do as a community to prevent and address abuse more effectively.
1. Prevention and Education
We are blessed with thousands of resources, many specifically geared toward the Jewish community, that serve to educate and prevent abuse. Some great resources include Rabbihorowitz.com, Jewishcommunitywatch.org, Magenu.org, and TheMamaBearEffect.org. Abuse CAN be prevented and/or stopped immediately but only when we are informed. Through education, parents can gain the information they need to appropriately teach their children how to say "No" and report anything that makes them uncomfortable - immediately. By learning how to arm our children with these tools, we can literally save lives.
2. Supervision and vigilance
Children should be supervised at ALL times and in ALL places. Debbie Fox, LCSW in a recent teleconference on the subject of protecting children from abuse, strongly encouraged all play to be done in public, supervised spaces - even when at home. Children should not be alone with other children or adults behind closed doors whether they are at home, school or shul. In addition, parents must be vigilant in whom they entrust their children to and keep an eye out for red flags. This applies to teachers, babysitters, group leaders, counselors, and anyone else who works or plays with children.
3. Support for Victims/Survivors
Many victims of abuse have reported experiencing greater trauma from the reactions of their parents and/or community than from the abuse itself. We need to make it safe for individuals to disclose what happened to them, and then hold their hands through the process of owning their experiences and healing from them. They must feel, in a tangible way, that the community will be there to support them not just immediately after the incident, but in the future as well.
4. Zero-Tolerance for Offenders
Abusers must be held accountable. There are still parts of our community where people do not talk openly about CSA. This protects abusers even if non-intentional. Rabbi Yaakov Horwitz often discusses how stigma and secrecy allows abuse to flourish right under our noses and encourages repeat offenders. If someone is known to have abused a child, they must be reported immediately.
While the steps above are presented in a "bare bones" manner, I think it does provide a basic framework in which we can work to prevent and address abuse. I would be happy to hear the thoughts of others who have thought about these issues and write a series of follow-up articles on related topics that you feel can use elaboration.
Based on my own experiences working with victims of abuse and discussions I have had with various professionals and community members over the years, I believe that there are essentially four things we can do as a community to prevent and address abuse more effectively.
1. Prevention and Education
We are blessed with thousands of resources, many specifically geared toward the Jewish community, that serve to educate and prevent abuse. Some great resources include Rabbihorowitz.com, Jewishcommunitywatch.org, Magenu.org, and TheMamaBearEffect.org. Abuse CAN be prevented and/or stopped immediately but only when we are informed. Through education, parents can gain the information they need to appropriately teach their children how to say "No" and report anything that makes them uncomfortable - immediately. By learning how to arm our children with these tools, we can literally save lives.
2. Supervision and vigilance
Children should be supervised at ALL times and in ALL places. Debbie Fox, LCSW in a recent teleconference on the subject of protecting children from abuse, strongly encouraged all play to be done in public, supervised spaces - even when at home. Children should not be alone with other children or adults behind closed doors whether they are at home, school or shul. In addition, parents must be vigilant in whom they entrust their children to and keep an eye out for red flags. This applies to teachers, babysitters, group leaders, counselors, and anyone else who works or plays with children.
3. Support for Victims/Survivors
Many victims of abuse have reported experiencing greater trauma from the reactions of their parents and/or community than from the abuse itself. We need to make it safe for individuals to disclose what happened to them, and then hold their hands through the process of owning their experiences and healing from them. They must feel, in a tangible way, that the community will be there to support them not just immediately after the incident, but in the future as well.
4. Zero-Tolerance for Offenders
Abusers must be held accountable. There are still parts of our community where people do not talk openly about CSA. This protects abusers even if non-intentional. Rabbi Yaakov Horwitz often discusses how stigma and secrecy allows abuse to flourish right under our noses and encourages repeat offenders. If someone is known to have abused a child, they must be reported immediately.
While the steps above are presented in a "bare bones" manner, I think it does provide a basic framework in which we can work to prevent and address abuse. I would be happy to hear the thoughts of others who have thought about these issues and write a series of follow-up articles on related topics that you feel can use elaboration.