"Hi everyone, this coming year I'll be principal for one year of a girls' Orthodox high school in Jerusalem. As in many Orthodox seminaries for high school girls, the modesty dress code is not fully embraced by the girls and is often seen as arcane, old fashioned, oppressive to the female gender and a total disconnect from current fashion trends. Have you seen/heard/read anything that you can identify that explains (read "sells") tzniut/modesty for women in a way that is palatable/friendly/not egregious/embraceable to high school girls? Deeply appreciated."
This was my response:
Hi Rabbi X, I happened to come across your post, and I thought I would offer my 2 cents as this is a topic I have given a lot of thought to. I have had the privilege to work with Jewish teenagers in a variety of settings, both formal and informal, and have found the following to be true: Most women who have been through the Orthodox "system" have developed "Tznius PTSD" (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder). Meaning, just the word "tznius" can invoke many very negative (sometimes quite traumatic!) experiences and associations. For that reason, I truly believe that tznius is a topic that should not be discussed directly with young women. (This is unfortunate as it is a topic that can actually be quite empowering and positive when presented to individuals who do not have these negative associations - such as women who are become more observant.)
That being said, I think there are some ways that tznius can be transmitted in a positive way, but it needs to be done more indirectly. Here are some ideas:
1. The school dress code should just be the school dress code. Nothing else. Although it may be loosely based on the laws of tznius, the code - or its enforcement - should never be associated with tznius itself - as this is how much of "Tznius PTSD" is developed. When a girl has a dress code infraction, she should not be dressed-down (pun intended) for being "untznius" or dressing inappropriately. Instead, she should be informed that she is in violation of the school's dress code. It should be addressed in the same way any other school rule, such as tardiness or frequent absences, would be addressed. There should be NO judgement, name-calling, or general emotional reactivity. This teaches the girls to comply with school rules and expectations without creating a long-term contentious association with "tznius".
2. It is essential that girls have teachers (both male and female) who model tznius in all aspects of their lives and demonstrate respect to the students as individuals and women. Modeling is an evidence-based way to transmit values and behavior. Of course, this is more indirect than giving a shiur or yom-iyun on the topic of tznius, but it is also more effective in establishing a long-term positive relationship with tznius.
3. Build the more internal concepts of tznius into the school curriculum by working on building up the girls' self-esteem and self-respect. By developing a sense of self that is based on their positive, internal qualities, they will be less likely to seek external validation of all types. There are formal curriculums that have been developed that teach the underlying concepts of tznius and self-respect without using those words.
I wish you much luck in this new endeavor. The girls are lucky to have you as their principal!